Thank you for your submission, “XXXXXXXXX,” but I’m afraid we’re going to pass.
While the story bears potential within it, I felt it failed to focus, maintaining the attention of the reader on the core conflict.
Good luck finding a home for this work.
I think this editor’s description of this particular story is quite apt. I wrote this story in the latter half of 2011, and, looking at it objectively, there’s a lot not going on in it that I can strengthen. I’ve improved as a writer in the intervening months, and while I’m no where near where I want to be (that’ll take time, skills-leveling, and perseverance), I’m on stronger story-telling ground. Thus, I’m going to pull this story out of circulation and recast it. This editor’s comments certainly help give me a direction.
By the way, if you don’t subscribe to Shimmer, you should. At $16 for a year’s digital sub / $22 for a year’s print sub (that’s the one I have), it’s an inexpensive way to support an SFF journal that’s doing great things.